Almost without exception, when I ask leaders or leadership teams I’m working with, “What do you do to ensure you’re getting the feedback, ideas, and information you need,” they exclaim with great delight, “We have an Open Door Policy!”
Oh … goody.
So, then I ask this question: “When is the last time someone walked in your door to share an idea, offer you constructive input on your leadership, the organization’s direction, or, well, anything of real significance?”
All too often, I get a blank stare. Eyes blinking. Deer in the headlights.
“Last week?” I’ll ask.
“Last month?”
“Six months ago?”
“A year??!?”
I had one leader who looked down at the ground, wringing his hands, and quietly whispered, “Never.”
Never.
If by chance someone says, with great pride, “Oh, just the other day!”, and I ask, “Great, what did you change as a result?”
Blank stare.
If you’re now saying to yourself, “Uh oh, I think this is me,” your open-door policy isn’t working. You may have to get out from behind your desk, ask different questions, listen deeply, and get engaged in the dialogue that is happening all around you.
Trust me when I say this: If your employees aren’t talking TO you, they are most certainly talking ABOUT you.
Simply put, we do not lead through policy. Oh, many leaders try to rely on policy as their leadership instrument, and that’s not enough. All too often, our policies are working against what we say we want to create.
We lead through conversation. And relationship.
Put another way: The primary tool of leadership is conversation. And the primary pathway is relationship.
Imagine a world where you don’t have an open door policy because you don’t need one, and you don’t need one because everyone feels comfortable and is actively engaging in open, candid, caring dialogue focused on elevating everyone’s game. Isn’t that what we really want?
If so, having a policy may or may not be getting you there. It’s far more important to create a culture where everyone feels safe, encouraged and supported in sharing their opinions in constructive, helpful ways. And if you lead people, it starts with you and how you show up.
My father once shared with me a piece of advice that has stuck with me year after year: “Colin, I learned to go into every meeting presuming I was the dumbest person in the room. That way I learned something in every conversation I was in.”
So many managers and leaders are living in the belief that their job is to have all the answers and that their worth and job success come from their expertise, what they know, and having to know it all.
Making the internal shift from believing “I have to be right, know it all, be in charge, be in control, etc.” to “My job as a leader is to ensure that great people find great answers to advance our mission” is a powerful reframing of what it means to lead. The uplift on the organization, results, and engagement is exponential.
My job as a leader is to ensure that great people find great answers to advance our mission.
The shift is from “I” to “We.”
When the leader has to be right, no one else can be.
When the leader knows better, no one else needs to.
When the leader has to be in control, s/he is out of control.
When the leader can’t hear criticism or competing ideas and find the generative tension in them, the organization and its mission becomes stagnant.
Some questions to ponder:
Are you too busy being right to listen to other people’s ideas?
Do you presume you’re the smartest person in the room?
Does everyone (but you) know that it’s your way or the highway?
Are you living in a belief that you’re only of value if you’re the one with the answers?
Research has shown that the more senior someone becomes, generally the less feedback and honest opinion they receive. Are you that leader? What are you missing as a result? And what do you want to do about it?
If you’re not cultivating the rich environment of feedback you’re working in every day, if you’re not inviting others to share their observations about you and the culture, if you’re not looking for and having the missing conversations rampant in most organizations, you are likely the one holding back or dampening your organization’s growth and success.
And if your voice is the only one that matters, what’s the point of leading others?
P.S.: If you’re looking for a great book to help you explore this further, I highly recommend “Scaling Leadership” by Bob Anderson and Bill Adams. When I say “highly,” that’s not high enough!
Colin McLetchie brings 20+ years of experience partnering with individuals, managers, executives, teams, and organizations to identify what success looks like and helping them move forward to achieving that success – at work and in life. He is a sought-after speaker, trainer, and workshop facilitator on collaborative communication, personal transformation, personal leadership, courageous conversations, resilience, emotional and relational capability, and many other topics. To learn more about his approach and to work with him, please Contact Us!
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